Okay, so to set this up properly, I didn't watch this episode ("William") of The X-Files from Season Nine. And I can't see myself ever watching it. What I know of it is from reviews and commentary that I only recently allowed myself to delve into (i.e., within the past seven months) as part of this "X-Files 20th anniversary adventure". Until now, I had only known that the baby had been given up for adoption at some point; I did not know the circumstances surrounding that decision nor did I know who ultimately made that decision. I didn't even know when exactly in S9 the deed took place, prior to my recent research.
Anyway, I don't want to dwell on why William's exit was unrealistic and unbelievable. Any X-Files fan worth his or her salt knows why. And it goes without saying that this story arc should never have been allowed to go as far as it did. Someone should have had the courage to drive a stake through this thing, long before the creators found themselves boxed into a two inch corner by it. (Made a mistake with the pregnancy thing? Sure, end it before she shows. Made the mistake of actually having her give birth? Fine, have the kid be taken away; pronto! Made the mistake of having the baby turn out to be part alien and "special"?? What-ever, man... now you're screwed!)
I have no way of knowing how much of the events of this particular episode was David Duchovny's doing, since it was not actually written by him. I have read bits and pieces about him being confused as to how to direct certain scenes from this hour, so it's clear that the story idea that he contributed may not have turned into the script that he intended. In my mind, it could still have been CC and FS who so inappropriately decided that a closed adoption was the best way to end the story of William.
No matter. Whoever was actually responsible, please take a few moments to review my top ten list of better outcomes for Baby William... drum roll please:
#10... Succumbed to the latest and greatest contagion, the cure for which may or may not be controlled by the government.
#9... Boiled down and fed to chickens by a cult whose members have incredibly long lives.
#8... Took a cruise to the Norwegian "Bermuda Triangle" where he quickly aged; he then...
#7... Traveled back in time to prevent his odd and unnatural conception... and succeeds.
#6... Sucked to death by Son of Flukeman.
#5... Pushed by Robert Modell's evil triplet to play with matches and set himself on fire.
#4... Kidnapped by a backwoods boy who will do anything — and I mean anything — for his mother.
#3... Whisked away by children travelling in starlight.
#2... Encountered his doppelganger at day care and fought him to the death.
#1... GOT ABDUCTED BY ALIENS AND WAS NEVER SEEN AGAIN!
After all, isn't all of that what The X-Files is about, anyway?? At the height of the show, did anyone hope to see extended storylines regarding mommyhood, baby carriages and giving up special kids for adoption? In the words of one of my feedbackers, why were CC/FS so determined to turn The X-Files into a goddamn SOAP OPERA?
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